come back home

I am in Portland Oregon, couchsurfing with some family friends of my girlfriend Ally. We are staying in their mothers RV that is parked in their driveway.  She is at her Pizza job that she just got in SE Portland at a place called Gladstone pizza. Dr. Gladstone was my bald, skinny, and quick witted pediatrician in Connecticut.

I called an old friend today and while we were discussing things he asked me why don't I come back home to Connecticut. I've been thinking about this and I wanted to explore it. Should I consider Connecticut my home?

I was born there. It was at Farmington hospital twenty five years ago. It happens to be in the same area as where my sister Katie works. I haven't spoken to her in a few years. Her partner and I had a disagreement about something and never made up. The hospital is also in the same complex where I received five inoculations to go to Ghana, Africa. I went to West Africa for a new adventure, but also because I wanted to see my girlfriend Paige, who was studying abroad there.

I grew up in Berlin. Which is about twenty minutes from Hartford, a city I barely knew, but went to its university for three years. I never got to know the city because I chose to commute there and thought that my real friends were in Berlin, so I didn't branch out much. I met a few great poets, but we don't talk much these days.

The past few years have been a couchsurfing menagerie for me. I've been searching for awhile to try to find the place that I can call home, or build something of my own. When I panic, or feel stuck, I move on. I pack some cloths that don't fit, and move further down the line. People like to label my lifestyle with simple words, but nothing in life is a simple word. I am not a hippie, or an activist, or a drunk, or a conservative, or a comedian, or traveler, or anything. I am just a dude, and the dude is living life, breathing, and looking for a right fit.

Is Connecticut my home? It was for awhile, I met some people that I love there. I miss them sometimes when something reminds me of them. I also miss my family, which isn't perfect, but it's mine. I'm not perfect either. I forget a lot of things I shouldn't and I don't always think before I speak or act.

I do know that I'm gonna keep moving a little further at a time. Till it's time to settle down, but I won't know when that it till it happens.

So see you soon, or see you later, but I'm sure I'll see you again.